Missing crane folder

From: WELCH Dianne
Sent: Wednesday, 9 November 2011 12:44 PM
To: MGWS All Staff
Subject: Missing folder

Afternoon Everyone,

The No.1 Turbine Crane Maintenance folder M814/007/A20k – BOSM F/09/5064 is no longer in the Engineering library.

Has anyone got the folder please?

Regards

Dianne Welch
Document Control Officer
Bicwell Corporation Limited
Tel +61 7 3204 9985
www.Bicwell.com


From: LITTON Randy
Sent: Wednesday, 9 November 2011 12:49 PM
To: WELCH Dianne
Subject: FW:Missing folder

Hey I’ll definitely be at Soddo’s drinks on Friday afternoon. Thanks for the reminder!

Cheers

Randy

Randy Litton
Storeman assistant
Bicwell Corporation Limited
Tel +61 7 3204 9986
www.Bicwell.com


From: WELCH Dianne
Sent: Wednesday, 9 November 2011 12:58 PM
To: LITTON Randy
Subject: FW:Missing folder

??????????????????????

Dianne Welch
Document Control Officer
Bicwell Corporation Limited
Tel +61 7 3204 9985
www.Bicwell.com


 

From: LITTON Randy
Sent: Wednesday, 9 November 2011 1:00 PM
To: WELCH Dianne
Subject: FW:Missing folder

Hey, I hear ya (loud and clear!!) – I’m asking the same questions. I think we all know that “What’s good for the goose” isn’t necessarily “good for the gander” in this situation – yeah I know what you’re thinking – “Just try telling that to Razik”!

Chin up babe!

Randy Litton
Storeman assistant
Bicwell Corporation Limited
Tel +61 7 3204 9986
www.Bicwell.com


From: WELCH Dianne
Sent: Wednesday, 9 November 2011 1:08 PM
To: LITTON Randy
Subject: FW:Missing folder

Randy, check your addressee (I think you might be sending me someone else’ e-mail……..oops!)

Dianne Welch
Document Control Officer
Bicwell Corporation Limited
Tel +61 7 3204 9985
www.Bicwell.com 


From: LITTON Randy
Sent: Wednesday, 9 November 2011 1:18 PM
To: WELCH Dianne
Subject: FW:Missing folder

Thanks heaps – did a quick check and yes – man you weren’t kidding! Wow! How can these people even begin to think that no one’s going to notice…….like, HELLO!!!!! THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE WORKING ONSITE!!!!

Well it looks like it’s not just Lufatinani after all. I’ve always had my suspicions (told you didn’t I!)

Best keep it under your hat for now 🙂

Cheers

Randy

Randy Litton
Storeman assistant
Bicwell Corporation Limited
Tel +61 7 3204 9986
www.Bicwell.com 


From: WELCH Dianne
Sent: Wednesday, 9 November 2011 1:20 PM
To: LITTON Randy
Subject: FW:Missing folder

Randy you durbrain, this is Dianne Welch – you know – works in engineering? Blonde hair? Been here for three years!!!

Seriously, CHECK THE ‘TO’ ADDRESS ON YOUR E-MAIL!!!!!

Dianne Welch
Document Control Officer
Bicwell Corporation Limited
Tel +61 7 3204 9985
www.Bicwell.com


 

From: LITTON Randy
Sent: Wednesday, 9 November 2011 1:21 PM
To: WELCH Dianne
Subject: FW:Missing folder

Hi Dianne. You have got to be kidding me – three years? Seems like just yesterday when the new girl (with the crazy hairdoo J) showed up onsite. I remember thinking, geez I hope she’s not as fiery as her hair! – hey come on now, cut me some slack, I certainly wasn’t the only one thinking it – we all know what the Irish are like – fiery hair and fiery temper – hahahaha).

So, are you coming to Soddos’ drinks on Friday?

Randy Litton
Storeman assistant
Bicwell Corporation Limited
Tel +61 7 3204 9986
www.Bicwell.com  


From: WELCH Dianne
Sent: Wednesday, 9 November 2011 1:26 PM
To: LITTON Randy
Subject: FW:Missing folder

Okay very funny, I get it. I take it you haven’t seen the missing crane maintenance folder.

Thank you for the big laugh HA-HA-HA.

Dianne Welch
Document Control Officer
Bicwell Corporation Limited
Tel +61 7 3204 9985
www.Bicwell.com


From: LITTON Randy
Sent: Wednesday, 9 November 2011 1:28 PM
To: WELCH Dianne
Subject: FW:Missing folder

Hahaha – you’ve got a great sense of humour Di (I’m serious when I say that you had us worried!) Put yourself in our shoes!! – no new engineers for five years and supposedly no more to be employed, and then you show up out of the blue – six foot four, blazing red hair (and a couple of bazookas that could sink a battleship) – and this sexy Irish accent that just drove us crazy. We weren’t sure whether to crack a woody or see the safety bloke about being assaulted with a deadly weapon (or two in your case).

Anyway, still don’t know what we’re going to do about bloody Razik. Any suggestions?

Tim said to ask you about it.

Randy Litton
Storeman assistant
Bicwell Corporation Limited
Tel +61 7 3204 9986
www.Bicwell.com


 

From: WELCH Dianne
Sent: Wednesday, 9 November 2011 1:30 PM
To: LITTON Randy
Subject: FW:Missing folder

Randy I don’t know what you consider as ‘appropriate’ inter-colleague e-mail communication but let me make it crystal clear to you so that you are under no illusion as to where I stand on the matter – I have no interest (none whatsoever!!!) in your disputes with other employees. Neither do I appreciate your lewd remarks or suggestive references! How would you like me to forward this on to HR? You think this is funny do you? How funny will it be when you’re sacked?

I do not wish to hear anything more about your issues with Razik or Lufatinani – or anyone else onsite for that matter!

Dianne Welch
Document Control Officer
Bicwell Corporation Limited
Tel +61 7 3204 9985
www.Bicwell.com


 

From: LITTON Randy
Sent: Wednesday, 9 November 2011 1:31 PM
To: WELCH Dianne
Subject: FW:Missing folder

Yeah I love a good joke too Dianne. I probably should remind you though to be careful what you say in an e-mail. Since the incident with Dwayne they’ve really clamped down on electronic content onsite. I know you’re just having some fun (hey since when did it become ‘offensive’ to have a laugh with your workmates for crying out loud?) but just be careful babe – ‘Big Brother’ (or ‘Big Sister’ in this case) is watching. Now don’t go getting all worried, I doubt very much that you’ve triggered any red flags (yet) – I’m just saying that maybe it’s better to err on the side of caution (if you know what I meanJ). And hey, isn’t it just so crazy! I’ve had this same conversation with Tim – just wanted to make sure that he didn’t go too far, he’s just such a great bloke. He’s been here long enough to know better but then I suppose we all drop our guard sometimes don’t we!

So anyway, you haven’t answered by question yet – are you coming to Soddos’s drinks? It’s gonna be a blast!

Randy Litton
Storeman assistant
Bicwell Corporation Limited
Tel +61 7 3204 9986
www.Bicwell.com


From: WELCH Dianne
Sent: Wednesday, 9 November 2011 1:42 PM
To: LITTON Randy
Subject: FW:Missing folder

 

Wow Randy! I really don’t know what to say. I’ve spoken to Tim, he really didn’t have too much to say either! I suppose all I can do at this point is to thank you for your warning and respectfully decline your offer for drinks. I’m sure you’ll agree that there’s nothing more that needs to be said.

Dianne Welch
Document Control Officer
Bicwell Corporation Limited
Tel +61 7 3204 9985
www.Bicwell.com 


From: LITTON Randy
Sent: Wednesday, 9 November 2011 1:46 PM
To: WELCH Dianne
Subject: FW:Missing folder

Couldn’t agree more Dianne. So what about Razik? Do you think he’s got a valid point after all?

Randy Litton
Storeman assistant
Bicwell Corporation Limited
Tel +61 7 3204 9986
www.Bicwell.com


From: WELCH Dianne
Sent: Wednesday, 9 November 2011 1:47 PM
To: LITTON Randy
Subject: FW:Missing folder

If I’m correct in my assumption, you’re referring to an incident that took place nearly two years ago that was completely consensual on that part of both parties involved and that I sincerely believed was well and truly dead and buried. Apparently it’s not as ‘deceased’ as I’d hoped.

I don’t see what Razik (or anyone else for that matter) has to do with it! On that point I also don’t see that this has anything to do with you. Please refrain from any further correspondence on the subject. And no I won’t be coming to Soddos’ drinks.

Dianne Welch
Document Control Officer
Bicwell Corporation Limited
Tel +61 7 3204 9985
www.Bicwell.com 


       

From: LITTON Randy
Sent: Wednesday, 9 November 2011 1:49 PM
To: WELCH Dianne
Subject: FW:Missing folder

Couldn’t agree more Dianne. I think ‘consent’ is just so important in these situations isn’t it! I mean, take Dwayne’s e-mail for example. He still maintains that everything that was going on in that photo (the one he got in the shit over) was completely consensual! He reckons the horse belongs to his cousin and that it was just doing what came naturally – he says that ‘ol Plugger is the best stud stallion they’ve ever had, reckons it could get a mare pregnant from twenty feet away (now that’s what I’d call ‘sharp shooting’!!!) Bloody amazing! And he reckons his auntie Beverly (she was the lady in the picture with the horse) was just helping the other lady – ‘Lady’ (that’s the name of the mare) – get her equipment in the right place. You see only horsey people understand these sorts of things. Other people are likely to just go off half-cocked and assume the worst. And then the shit really hits the fan! (actually, Dwayne reckons that they had to take the overhead fans out of Plugger’s stables because if he was going for it and something slipped out, he’d actually hit the fans, and then they’d all get covered with the (stuff). Incredible hey!)

Hey just quick point: you said ‘both parties’, it’s probably more correct to say ‘all parties’. Sorry to be a pain, haha J.

So anyway, what about Razik?

Cheers

Randy Litton
Storeman assistant
Bicwell Corporation Limited
Tel +61 7 3204 9986
www.Bicwell.com


From: WELCH Dianne

Sent: Wednesday, 9 November 2011 1:54 PM
To: LITTON Randy
Subject: FW:Missing folder

Litton I don’t think you realise just how close I am to referring this whole situation on to HR! Let me make myself quite clear regarding the points you’ve raised. Firstly, the e-mail and attached photograph I received from Dwayne were completely and utterly offensive! I have no qualms whatsoever in bringing that kind of gutter-level communication to the attention of management! And the fact that I supposedly received it by mistake is completely irrelevant as far as I’m concerned – Dwayne should be more careful to whom he addresses his e-mails (but then I suppose that perhaps a person who’s employed to clean toilets may not have the intellect required to grasp such complex applications). In my assessment, he received the discipline that he deserved. He should consider himself fortunate that he wasn’t sacked!

Secondly, your lewd reference to a supposed incident that may have occurred, as I said, nearly two years ago, is none of your dam business! Despite your predisposition with such disgusting practices as was the content of Dwayne’s e-mail, may I remind you that there is no company policy – none whatsoever – that restricts relationships between staff colleagues. May I also remind you that any innuendo or unsavory comments regarding the private interactions between fellow staff members actually does contravene not only corporate policy, but civil law as well. Be very careful what you say Mr. Litton or you may find yourself having to deal with far more than you’ve bargained for! (Did I happen to mention that my father is one of the most powerful barristers in the county – he specialises in defamation suits!!)

And third and finally, I used ‘both parties’ because I meant ‘both parties’. The collective noun ‘both’ is used to indicate two objects; ‘all’ refers to more than two. I realise it may take you a while to digest that!

So Randy, let’s be sensible how we go about things from here on. I suggest you and your little friends take a nice deep breath, forget all about any trouble you may be contemplating causing , and go back to your menial, mundane daily tasks and leave the more complex roles such as personnel management and staff discipline to those of us better suited to the role.

I trust this will be that final communication on the matter!

Dianne Welch
Document Control Officer
Bicwell Corporation Limited
Tel +61 7 3204 9985
www.Bicwell.com


From: LITTON Randy
Sent: Wednesday, 9 November 2011 1:58 PM
To: WELCH Dianne
Subject: FW:Missing folder

I have to be honest Dianne, I really don’t know what to say. You’ve made some pretty strong points there, I don’t think I could refute anything that you’ve said (I really like that word ‘refute’. I’m gonna teach it to Dwayne – you’re right, he’s just such a dumb prick when it comes to e-mails and words and stuff. Then, instead of saying he’s cleared all of that shit and toilet paper and half-used tampons – and the occasional condom – from the engineering toilets, he can say he’s ‘refuted’ it! Thanks for that. It’s just so important to expand your yucabulary isn’t it).

And you dad’s a barrister! – wow!! I love coffee!!! Me and Dwayne were actually thinking of opening up our own coffee shop. We were going to use a ‘western’ theme, you know, horsey pictures and stuff on the walls and whips and bridles and leather straps. I reckon it’ll be a bloody big winner! (Hey maybe your dad might be interested in coming in as a junior partner or something? Di get him to send through his résumé. I don’t think we’re going to get into clothing though. I reckon we’d be biting off more than we could chew with trying to make coffee and suites at the same time). Sounds like he’s pretty bloody talented, you must be really proud of him.

Anyway, I’d better finish off here – can’t sit around all day chatting – got a lot of those ‘tasks’ to attend to LOL!!!!

Hey Di, on that point about ‘both’ verses ‘all’, Lufatinani’s photos actually do show more than two objects. Yeah he’s got some pretty amazing angles of you and Tim on the table in the engineering meeting room table that night after the staff Christmas party. And then he’s got that delayed action function happening and it shows all three of you – he’s a very bloody talented photographer – he’s definitely hogging the camera though. Hey he’s a big bastard isn’t he – in more ways than one (wink, wink!) But then I suppose that’s Fijians for ya – no wonder they make such great rugby players!! Hahaha (hey Di I gotta admit, a couple of the photos do look a bit like a ruck and maul! – real action shots!! haha). Anyway, all I can say is that you all did a bloody great job that night with getting into the fancy-dress theme and all. ‘Cultures from around the world”. You in your ‘Irish immigrant’ costume with your red hair and low-cut blouse and those big knockers. And Tim as ‘Batman’ (he was definitely giving you a good ‘batting’ by the looks of it hahaha). And Lufatinani, well I’m not really sure that he actually dressed up at all? But then I suppose he was definitely just acting out the role anyway. Kind of like an non-Caucasian porn star with a really big part to play (with).

Well anyway (geez, how many times have I said that!), I’ll definitely finish off here. Razik says to say hi! He’s such a nice bloke the way he offered to Photoshop Lufatinani’s pictures. They came out really good too – you can definitely tell who the ‘stars’ are! Actually Di (and he’s gonna kill me for saying this), he really thinks a lot of you. He said that he doesn’t care if you think he’s just “a randy, fat, ugly, old Egyptian prick who wouldn’t know the first f’cking thing about how to treat a woman!” He still thinks the world of you. Not sure about his whole “what’s good for the goose is good for the gander” thing. These bloody foreign engineers just crack me up when they try to use our sayings and then balls-up the meaning. Keeps raving on about Lufatinani being the ‘goose’ and him being the ‘gander’! Not sure what he means by that one Di, you might want to set him straight next time you’re talking to him.

Cheers

Randy

P.S. The missing crane folder is probably drying out on one of the pallets behind our smoko donga up the back near the K5 Wash Plant. Dwayne said one of the engineers was using it to help those contractors with the repairs to the crane. Said that he’d just borrowed it for a sec to scoop up a couple of dead pigeons on the walkway near the crane rails. Anyway one of them was still pretty ‘fresh’ and all of its guts spilled out over the folder (he was pretty pissed-off let me tell ya). Not to worry though, he’s hosed all of the shit off and left it on the pallet to dry-out. Good as gold!