Cattle in the carpark

From: RUSSO Leonie
Sent: Tuesday, 17 January 2012 2:56 PM
To: ALLUSERS – MARLYBONE POWER STATION
Subject: cattle

 

Hello Everyone,

 

As you are going home please watch out for the cattle. The owner has been notified that his cattle is out again.

 

Kind Regards,

Leonie

 

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From: LITTON Randy
Sent: Tuesday, 17 January 2012 2:57 PM
To: RUSSO Leonie
Subject: cattle

 

Hi Leonie,

 

I think there’s more than one.

 

Cheers,

 

Randy

 

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From: RUSSO Leonie
Sent: Tuesday, 17 January 2012 2:58 PM
To: LITTON Randy
Subject: cattle

 

Yes that’s correct thankyou Randy – that’s why I called them ‘cattle’ and not ‘a cow’. J

 

Kind Regards,

Leonie

 

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From: LITTON Randy
Sent: Tuesday, 17 January 2012 3:01 PM
To: RUSSO Leonie
Subject: cattle

 

Hi Leonie,

 

But you said ‘is out’. I just checked and the correct grammar is ‘are out’. Of course if there was only one, you could say the cow ‘is out’ but because there’s a whole mob, you really should say the cattle ‘are out’. (Sorry, not meaning to be picky, it’s just that it’s could be a safety issue – if people thought there was only one cow they mightn’t be as careful) J

Keep up the good work!

 

Randy

 

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From: RUSSO Leonie
Sent: Tuesday, 17 January 2012 3:04 PM
To: LITTON Randy
Subject: cattle

 

Randy,

 

You’re a fuckhead.

 

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From: LITTON Randy
Sent: Tuesday, 17 January 2012 3:05 PM
To: RUSSO Leonie
Subject: cattle

 

Thanks for your thoughts Leonie. Glad we could sort that out. (and you can rest assured I’ll be on the lookout for the heard – that’s what cattle people call a group of cattle – a heard J)

 

Cheers

 

Randy

 

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From: RUSSO Leonie
Sent: Tuesday, 17 January 2012 3:07 PM
To: LITTON Randy
Subject: cattle

 

Litton you fucking retard, it’s ‘herd’ not ‘heard’. And you’re giving me English lessons????

 

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From: LITTON Randy
Sent: Tuesday, 17 January 2012 3:09 PM
To: RUSSO Leonie
Subject: cattle

 

Leonie, I think it only makes a difference if they’re steers. If they’re steers, you can just call them a ‘mess’ (like, “Say pardner, how’s about you and me mosey on over yonder and rustle us up a mess o’steaks”) If they still haven’t had their vaginas removed though, you have to call them a ‘heard’.

Confusing isn’t it!

 

Cheers

 

Randy

 

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From: RUSSO Leonie
Sent: Tuesday, 17 January 2012 3:11 PM
To: LITTON Randy
Subject: cattle

 

  1. ‘HERD’ NOT FUCKING ‘HEARD’
  2. MESS???? YOU’RE A FUCKING MESS
  3. STEERS ARE YOUNG MALE CATTLE THAT HAVE HAD THEIR TESTICLES CUT OFF – NOTHING WHATSOFUCKINGEVER TO DO WITH FEMALE CATTLE OR THEIR VAGINAS.
  4. I HAVE BLOCKED YOU FROM MY INBOX.

 

 

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From: RATSHORE Willis
Sent: Tuesday, 17 January 2012 3:17 PM
To: RUSSO Leonie
Subject: cattle

 

Hey Leonie. Seems to be some glitch with Outlook at the moment – couldn’t use my computer to e-mail you but luckily Willy let me use his (might have something to do with the cattle plague????)

Hey, a great big thank you for being so diligent and keeping an eye on the cattle – it just happens far too often doesn’t it. I mean the cattle owner should keep his cows under control and if it does get out, he should make sure it can’t get on to the road and stuff.

Anyway, I’d better get going, just herd that the cattle is in the carpark – there’ll be bloody testicles and vaginas everywhere!

 

Cheers

 

Randy